The Bad Sport

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OZ – Just days after the Philadelphia Eagles unanimously awarded Michael Vick the Ed Block Courage Award, The Wizard found himself denying reports that he was behind the vote.

“I had nothing to do with this,” said the man, who refused to come out from behind his curtain. “While I admit giving Three 6 Mafia its Oscar (for Best Song, “It’s Hard Out Here for a Pimp” in 2006), I don’t know enough about sports to be this clever.”

Vick met with NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell on Friday and denied ever meeting The Wizard. A source close to Goodell said that the commissioner took Vick at his word after confirming that none of his fingers and toes were crossed.

“Michael Vick has been to Oz, but not that Oz,” the commissioner was overheard saying.

But that didn’t satisfy the once Cowardly Lion, who received the Wizard’s only Medal of Courage in 70 years.

“If I had my way, I would go into that locker room and say to those birds, ‘Put ‘em up, put ‘em up! Which one of you first?” the lion said.

When told the team has more than 50 “birds,” the lion handed The Wizard back his medal and disappeared about 100 yards down the yellow brick road.

While the lion turned wuss again, hundreds of members of PETA and graffiti artists out of red paint protested outside Lincoln Financial Field into the early morning Saturday. They said they would not leave until the Eagles revoked the award from Vick or police arrested them, whichever came first.

Among those representing PETA was Pam Anderson, who now regularly shows up to the group’s demonstrations because it’s the only way she gets publicity, her ex-publicist said.

In response to the public outrage, Vick issued the following statement: “I am proud to know that my name will be right there with firefighters in the dictionary under ‘courage,’ and promise that I will live up to those standards once my attorney tells me what they are.”

Had Vick not garnered the award, quarterback Donovan McNabb reportedly would have received it for the courage to shave his head, an unnamed player said.

The Eagles, who lead the NFC East with a 10-4 record, play host to the Denver Broncos on Sunday. Eagles owner Jeffrey Lurie, coach Andy Reid and McNabb refused to comment on the latest Vick controversy or McNabb’s Kojak look.

An Eagles hater, however, had no problem stating his opinion.

“A situation like this would only happen in Philly,” said Mike from MTV’s ‘The Jersey Shore.’ “‘The Situation,’ however, would only happen at the Jersey Shore. Or in Philly, I guess, if I was there.”