The Bad Sport

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MIAMI – Drew Brees accepted the MVP trophy, but in the aftermath of the New Orleans Saints’ upset victory over the Indianapolis Colts in Super Bowl XLIV, he thanked the teammate who deserved the most credit: Jesus Christ.

Christ won his record 40th Super Bowl, adding to an already impressive championship collection that includes 70 World Series titles, 43 NBA crowns, 39 Stanley Cups, and 3858 Olympic gold medals.

“I wouldn’t be standing here without thanking the man above,” Brees said. “He helped to not only deliver a championship to a franchise, but to an entire city. Thank you, Jesus.”

Christ, who wasn’t seen throughout most of the game, filled in for Brees during a trick play in the fourth quarter that helped the Saints take the lead for good. He also stepped in on defense, making four tackles and pressuring Peyton Manning six times.

“Jesus Christ, I can’t believe it!” exclaimed Saints Head Coach Sean Payton, as he watched Christ hoisted by his teammates off the field. “We owe this all to Jesus.”

One Saint player who wasn’t as pleased with Christ’s heroics was Reggie Bush. His 63 yards of total offense was not enough to please girlfriend Kim Kardashian, who showed up with Christ to a South Beach victory party late Sunday evening.

Bush was nowhere to be found.

A man who stayed in the Gansevoort South Hotel said he heard Kardashian screaming Christ’s name nonstop between 2 am and 4 am.

“She definitely wasn’t in church,” he said.

Bush and Kardashian did not return phone calls.

Christ was too focused on the NBA and NHL seasons to be interviewed, but issued a statement through his publicist.

“I am always glad to help rich athletes win championships,” he said. “It is achievements like these that make me proud to be who I am.”