Just days after Gatorade dumped Woods, Pimp Juice Energy Drink swooped right in and signed him to a two-year, $10 million endorsement contract.

Tiger couldn't stop roaring about his Pimp Juice.

Rapper Nelly, who co-owns the energy drink inspired by his song of the same name, reached out to Woods immediately when he heard that he was a beverage free agent.

“What we got here is a bonafide pimp and no matter what ya’ll say ’bout him, Tiger got some mad pimp juice inside him,” said Nelly, who sat next to Woods at a Monday press conference at the drink’s Fillmore Street Brewery. “Pimp Juice is proud to have a Tiger representin’.”

Woods, who checked out two months early from the Gentle Path sex addition program at the Pine Grove Behavioral Health and Addiction Services center in Hattiesburg, Miss., to attend the press conference, said Nelly’s sales pitch was perfect.

“Nelly made me realize I have nothing to apologize for,” Woods said. “There is nothing wrong with being a pimp, and there is everything right with drinking Pimp Juice. I was pretty fired up to have my first Vodka and Pimp Juice this morning.”

Tiger took down a big ass can of Pimp Juice on the links.

Woods said he will still take some time away from golf, but now to  focus on the National Pimp Tour. Woods on Thursday begins a six-week, 50-city night club tour to promote the beverage. When asked if he planned to sleep with any more VIP hostesses, Woods would only say, “I’ll make sure they get plenty of my Pimp Juice.”

Nelly, who hasn’t had a hit song in years, was excited to be back in the public spotlight.

“I mean, I’m happy to be here with y’all, but this is Tiger’s day,” Nelly said. “He represents this brand like nobody else could.”

While never a big hit, Nelly’s song received plenty of attention – almost all critical – for what many called glorification of prostitution.

Woods, though, stood up for Nelly.

“Nelly is a visionary, and what lyrics may not have made sense years ago are crystal clear today,” Woods said. “Because when I’ve got a can of this on me, and a woman is nearby, I can say one way or another that she only wants me for my Pimp Juice.”

The Booty Meat Footlong.

The long rumored Kim Kardashian and Jared Fogle hookup is beginning to look like a reality.

Kardashian has apparently moved onto Fogle.

The reality TV star and Playboy pinup, who met Fogle last year on the set of a boyfriend Reggie Bush’s Subway Commercial, has been seen arriving and departing the same Indianapolis night club – there is only one – as Fogle the past three Friday and Saturday nights.

“They’re definitely an item,” said a source, who claims to have seen the two inside Subterra Lounge Saturday. “She was grinding all over his five dollar footlong and he had some serious white man’s overbite goin’ on.”

Bush and Fogle were all smiles on the set of a Subway commercial.

Kardashian apparently made it known that she was back on the market after opting to party with Jesus after the Super Bowl instead of Bush, who plays running back for the NFL champion New Orleans Saints.

But after Jesus dumped her to perform miracles for other sports teams and athletes, Kardashian turned to Fogle, who she most recently partied with in January at his 10th anniversary Subway party. Kardashian also attended the same Halloween party as Fogle last year, when she said it was a “coinkidink” that he was Superman and she was Wonder Woman.

Kardashian, seen dining with friends at Sushi Roku in West Hollywood on Tuesday night, had little to say upon leaving the posh restaurant.

Did Jared show Kim his super sub?

“I have little to say,” she said.

Fogle, who was unavailable for comment, is training to fight NBA Hall of Famer Charles Barkley in a UFC cage match this summer. While he is currently engaged, Fogle is no stranger to celebrities chasing after him.

Lady GaGa is rumored to have penned her hit song, “Bad Romance,” for Fogle, and Britney Spears allegedly promised the Subway pitchman to give up McDonald’s for life if he showed her his Sweet Onion Chicken Teriyaki.

GaGa and Spears would not return phone calls. Bush could not be reached, but his most recent Tweet on Sunday read, “@JFFootlong best watch your back boy.”

Sampson shows off her new sunglasses.

“I’d say (have sex with) me or (position me) over and (have sex with me) hard, and while his body responded, Tiger just wasn’t responding with his voice,” Sampson said from her San Fernando Valley condominium on Sunday. “It was frustrating to (have sex with) Tiger when he wouldn’t talk while he (put his penis) in my (vagina).”

After some post-coital conversation, Tiger admitted he was shy about expressing himself during sex, Sampson said. That’s when Sampson says she asked Tiger if he could meet her halfway and tweet his feelings to her.

“He jumped out of bed with this big smile on his face and a raging (erection) and said ‘hell (bleepin’) yeah,” she said. “It was the moment that took our (sexual intercourse) to another level.”

Woods loved to "tweet all night," Sampson said.

Sampson, who saved multiple screenshots of Woods’ tweets to her during their romps in bed, says Woods eventually started talking. But without Twitter, he never would have made that kind of progress, she said.

A poll conducted by the Porn Stars of North and Latin America shows that only 28 percent of men talk during sex. And of those, only 0.3 percent last long enough to complete an entire sentence.

Since her revelation, Sampson says she has counseled other cheating celebrities and public officials on how to become more open, she said.

Former Democratic presidential nominee John Edwards, former New York governor Eliot Spitzer, and New York Yankees third baseman Alex Rodriguez are among the clients of Open It Up, a Sampson’s nonprofit that “teaches men how to speak while (having sex) so the women they are (having sex with) will spread it wide open,” according to its website, OpenItUp.cum.

“Open It Up helped me keep my mouth shut in public and my lips open in the bedroom,” Rodriguez said.

Woods, who on Friday apologized to his wife, his mother, his sponsors, the golfing community, his mailman, and his Viagra supplier at a press conference where he admitted his sex addition, did not return phone calls.

But his last Twitter update said it all.

“My johnson has an ice pack around it and it can’t get up!” he tweeted.

Woods' tweets during sex with Sampson

The golfing great, who nearly two months ago checked into the Pine Grove Behavioral Health & Addiction Services in an attempt to save his marriage, has instead turned the clinic into an “orgy palace,” according to a source who knows one of the facility’s patients.

Woods and Favre are pumped up about pumping.

Better yet, Minnesota Vikings quarterback Brett Favre has joined the party. Favre opened up his Hattiesburg home to Woods’ wife, Elin Nordegren, so she could be near her troubled husband. But when he went to visit Woods on his own two weeks ago, he allegedly was literally roped into a ménage a trois with Woods and a counselor.

That started a domino effect that has turned the center upside down into a kinky playground. Reports of sexual acts that would make the biggest adult film stars blush have experts debating if Woods is the greatest sex addict of all time.

“He’d have to be right up there with the greats,” said Dick Longstaff, star of “Hi, My Name is Dick Longstaff I, II, III, IV, V, VI, VII, and VIII.” “I’ve been in some gang bangs before, and had my share of group sex, but it’s usually with other porn stars.

“To turn a bunch of recovering patients, let alone renowned professionals, into a lust bunch is one for the ages.”

Favre, who hasn’t left the building since visiting Woods, is said to be setting his sights on a new record: The World’s Largest Gangbang.

Tiger Woods' nurses now don far different clothing.

“I’ve got a lot left in me!” Favre was heared screaming one night. “Aaaaaah.”

A male sex addict from the center, who spoke on the condition of anonymity, said Favre jumped into the arms of cheering sex addicts after his orgasm. They all patted him on the backside, the source said.

“Brett may be old, but he don’t need no Viagra,” the source said. “Do you know where I can get some Viagra? No seriously, do you know where I can get some?”

Woods, meanwhile, had started bragging about his “Big Bertha” to women in one of his group meetings, said a counselor, who also spoke on the condition of anonymity.

“He had a lot of names for it,” she said. “The 10 iron, the muscle back, the list went on and on.”

Woods and Favre, both of whom could not be reached for comment, allegedly also convinced the staff to order new uniforms, she said.

All female staff now wears naughty nurse outfits. As for the patients, they’re “running around naked and they are loving every minute of it,” she added.

Favre has not told anybody at the center whether he intends on returning to the Vikings for a 20th season next year.

In honor of their birthdays, their friends ordered them each a special cake.

Which alleged mistress is going to blow out Tiger's candles?

Wonder what LeBron is wishing for ...

And while mascots are meant to entertain fans, they say they need some entertainment too – the physical kind.

Pat allegedly wanted to host a Boston Tea-Bag party.

One day after the New England Patriots’ mascot, Pat, was arrested in a prostitution sting in Rhode Island, his fellow NFL mascots across the nation are telling dark tales of lonely sexless nights.

“Sure, we are cheered under the lights by tens of thousands of people,” said Miles, the Denver Broncos’ mascot. “But we’re not getting anything under the covers. You think it’s frustrating when you’re on a cold streak? Look at me. I’m hung like a horse and nobody even knows it!”

Miles poses for the ladies.

Mascots were nearly banned from their own sidelines in January after the Tennessee Titans’ T-Rac went for a cheerleader’s rack during a playoff loss to the Ravens. But after further review, the play on the field stood.

“Yeah I was lucky, but I still didn’t get lucky,” T-Rac said.

T-Rac couldn't contain himself in January.

From the fan’s perspective, mascots have the life. Everybody wants to touch them and they can pretty much get away with any shenanigans – on the field and in the stands. But while that’s true inside the stadium, it doesn’t go beyond there, they say.

“Opposing cheerleaders love me,” said Blue of the Indianapolis Colts. “But when I ask them if they wanna go clubbing after the game, they always say no. Here I spend three hours buttering them up and I’m left with my dick in my paw at the end of the night.”

Blue pleads for lovin'.

Blue added that most women don’t even realize if he’s frustrated because his “balls are always blue.”

Cheerleaders, however, tell a different story.

“We tell a different story,” said a Dallas Cowboys cheerleader, who spoke on the condition of anonymity because she couldn’t remember her name.

NFL mascots held a closed door meeting on Saturday in an undisclosed barn in the Midwest to discuss how to better deal with their raging hormones, an unnamed mascot said.

The meeting lasted three minutes.